Blue lotus

My favorite flower. I wanna like the lotus, powerful, elegant, gentle, and graceful.Image

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Terima kasih Diponegoro 1 Jakarta.

Jika novel Rhododendron in Love ini selesai, ini karena berkah dari Tuhan. Aku menyelesaikannya di kursi di pojok belakang, di perguruan Diponegoro Jakarta. Buatku tempat ini lah yang sungguh luar biasa. Karena aku tak bisa menulis dengan baik jika tidak duduk di kursi itu. Sungguh. Terima kasih Diponegoro 1 Jakarta. Aku tak akan pernah lupa.

Tuhan bersamaku selalu

Rasanya semua begitu membelengguku. Sungguh aku tak bisa mengendalikan emosi dan perasaanku. Tak bisa kupungkiri bahwa apa yang telah kualami dan sedang kualami sangat menyesakkan dada dan hatiku. Terkadang muncul satu kegelisahan bahwa aku tak bisa melewatinya seorang diri.
Sulit sekali untuk melupakan semuanya. Semua rasa kecewa.

Aku telah berkomitmen untuk memulainya seorang diri namun lagi-lagi semuanya tak bisa dilupakan begitu saja. Mungkin perlu waktu untuk menormalkan semua ini.

Atau mungkin aku harus banyak berdialog dengan Tuhan agar prasangka buruk ini tak berlanjut. Selalu kutanamkan dan kuyakini bahwa aku akan baik-baik saja dan aku bisa mengatasinya walaupun aku harus berjalan sendirian.
Namun aku yakin bahwa ada ada rencana Tuhan yang sangat indah untukku. Aku yakin Tuhan tak akan membiarkan aku terus dalam perasaan kecewa berkepanjangan. Tuhan akan menemani dan menolongku agar aku tak sendirian.
Tuhan, terima kasih karena aku percaya padaMu.

Im not alone

It seemed all so excruciating. I really could not control my emotions and feelings. Can not deny that what I had experienced and was experiencing very suffocating and my heart. Sometimes it appears the unease that i couldn’t pass alone.
It is very difficult to forget everything. All sense of disappointment.

I have committed to start a self-but again everything can’t be forgotten. May need time to normalize all of this.

It seemed all so excruciating. I really couldn’t control my emotions and feelings. Can’t deny that what i had experienced and was experiencing very suffocating and my heart. Sometimes it appears the unease that i could’nt pass alone.
It is very difficult to forget everything. All sense of disappointment.

I have committed to start a self-but again everything can not be forgotten. May need time to normalize all of this.

Or maybe i have a lot of dialogue with God that these prejudices could not continue. I always believed that i would be fine and i can handle it even if i have to walk alone.
But i’m sure that there are plans for me God is very beautiful. I’m sure God wouldn ’t let me continue in a prolonged sense of disappointment. God will accompany and help me so that i’m not alone.
Lord, thank you becauseiI believe in to You.

Thks God…

After mothers and father died, i realized that they educate me with a very high discipline. Even though i was an only child, i have to work hard. Studying, doing homework, cooking, and planting flowers. . The benefits i’m feeling now, i am a person who is not a quitter, like working, and independent.

Although I was alone with my daughter, i can still work to earn. I thank my father and mother who have given everything with love and affection. Thank you, God.

All women want to attract. Me too.

I do not worship beauty, but I do care about how to make it look attractive. For me if a woman is attractive then it will look beautiful, not only physically beautiful but also beautiful inside.

Beauty from the heart will appear if a woman has a lot of knowledge, a heart full of love, care about others, and always respectful of others.

To be physically attractive, I will be doing fitness so as to make a sexy body. Wow ……